gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
