Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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