Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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