i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
