Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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