you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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