what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
