would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
