i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
