Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
