it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Your cock deserves a montage
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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