So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you never un-have a 4some
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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