maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
