what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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