oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
