Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
