So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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