i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
