hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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