I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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