you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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