Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
