On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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