nutella sex= disaster
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
