My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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