She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize