dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
