Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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