I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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