Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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