Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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