just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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