I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
NoShamevember. You game?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
