What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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