Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize