im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
