Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
