My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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