ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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