Whod you bang
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am naked and annoyed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
