Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
