I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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