how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
