He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
