Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
