1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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