I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
