At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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