you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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