FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
