I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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