Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
