So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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