I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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