Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
