Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
