cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My hand turned me down
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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