what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
