Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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