Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
