need another drink. this is the easiest way
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
