so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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