i permit you to call me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
